pleasant discipline

So I promised an update and here it is ;)

As you read in my previous blog, I took a "huge-mongo assessment" and I was waiting to hear the results. I trusted that the results would be His will and either way I would get through it just fine. The result of trusting in Him alone: I PASSED!!! :D Praise God! I hope I can continue to trust Him with the big things in my life as well.

But since I passed, that meant I had to take a couple classes this summer in order to stay on track to graduate Spring '12. It's not terrible but let's be honest... who wants to be in school when everyone else is out? It's summer! ;) Classes have been going fine though. I especially like my "Religious Interpreting" class. Next class I have to do a devotional (in ASL of course) and we're learning all these awesome words like "propitiation" :) So I can't complain.

This time in my life has almost felt like a long period of discipline. And I for sure deserve it, but that doesn't always make it easier. My pastor preached on Hebrews 12:7-13 a couple of weeks ago and boy was that a blessing to me!

 ⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

 ¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

These busy busy times in life might be hard and chaotic, but there's so many things to be thankful for. My job... He couldn't have picked a more perfect job for me; so thanks for that one God! My family... I couldn't juggle work and school right now if it wasn't for them. It's good to come home to a full household, let alone with people who love you. My friends... who have been patient with me and understand my busy schedule/why I can't talk or hang out. I hope to catch up with each one of them and I'm praying God opens up windows of time for me to be able to do just that. (For those friends who are reading this... just know I'm still praying for you and think about you super often!) My Jesus... for standing by me, stretching me in ways that I never thought I could handle, and strengthening my feeble arms and weak knees. It's been so great to get to know Him on a new level. I'm still amazed by His love and the fact that He still pours it upon me even though I don't deserve a speck of it.


So many things to be thankful for. So many good reminders :)

Matthew 12: 20 "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory."

I feel spent but I'm praising Him because He doesn't break us. What a Gracious Father :)

choosing to trust

So I plan on updating you all about this last quarter, but until I have time to pour that all out, I've just got a tidbit of what God's teaching me to share :)

As many of you know, I took a huge-mongo assessment last week. It's the exam I've been dreading since I started the ASL program last year. It's a pass/fail type of test; you can only move on in the program if you pass. And what scared the heck out of me was last term 19 people took it, and only 2 passed. So it's kind of a big deal and it's something everyone dreads. I studied tons prior to the exam and felt as prepared as I could have been, but I'm still waiting to hear back.

Waiting has always been something I've struggled with, but even with things like this (as simple as waiting for results) God's teaching me to trust His timing :)

The song that played on the radio the other day... especially for me ;)... was Trust in Jesus by Third Day. I've been thinking about how big of a deal TRUST really is. It's huge. Have you ever lost the trust you had for a good friend? It's heartrending. It's awful. You feel betrayed and worthless.

How many times do I casually forget that it's all in God's hands? How many times does it slip my mind that His timing is best? How many times do I forget to trust He's got in under control? Well a lot... And that makes my heart break. I'm doubting the God of the universe. His heart must be rendered. He must feel betrayed and forgotten.

So starting small... just baby steps for now... I'm choosing to trust Him with the results of this test. I believe God prepared me to the best of my ability and I believe I gave it my all. Therefore, I trust that the results will be as HE desires. I choose to trust in Jesus today. :) What can you trust Him with today?

"it always gets worse before it gets better"

2006

So if you know me well, you know that my biggest frustration for the past 8 years has been "my face." I first went to a dermatologist when I was 12. At that time, I only had weird little bumps and redness. He said it was a strange rash and would eventually turn into acne. He was right; it did. When I went back to see him, he put on these huge, weird-looking binoculars and said, "Hmm. Let's try _____. Oh and remember 'it always gets worse, before it gets better!'" So I'd try it, it'd get worse, and then nothing! So I'd go back and he'd want to try something else. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty awful but in my mind it was only temporary.

2009

But I shortly found out, I was wrong. All through junior high, high school, and even my first year of college it was there. And the problem is: It got worse and never got better. My first year at Cedarville, it was by far the worst it had ever been. I was meeting new people and all I could think about was, "This is their first impression of me. How could they not judge this book by it's cover?" I tried so hard to find out what was making it worse... "the nasty CU water I washed my face with every night, my fabric softener, and lots of other things." I eventually discovered that it was stress-induced. I had started my first year of college, I was trying to make new friends, I was leaving everything else behind,  I needed to find the $ to even be there, I broke up with my first boyfriend, my mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I wanted to make good grades. Let's just say there was a lot on my mind and because I was deeply stressed, my face was at it's worst. Despite all of that, my year was fantastic. My face slowly got a little better, but still not what I would call "normal."

After moving home, my mom tried so hard to convince me to go to a new dermatologist. I refused. I knew they hadn't done anything for me in the past and all I was doing was wasting my parent's money on medicine that didn't work. But after much convincing, I finally went. I didn't have a good attitude about it, and walking in, I knew what I had tried and what I didn't want to try. But the doctor was amazing. He told me I was beautiful, and he knew the perfect thing. He eased all my doubts and told me I would have an acne-free face when we were done. I followed through with it and can't even tell you how happy I am. 

2011

What he made me realize though was: I was beautiful all along. The doctor never said, "You'll be beautiful when this is all done." He told me on my first visit, "You're beautiful Brandi." He was reassuring what God had been telling me the whole time. I was beautiful and precious in His sight, with or without acne.

Song of Solomon 4:7

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

1 Samuel 16:7

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

Looking back, I realize it was one of those things that I tried to pretend didn't exist. But in the "quiet corners" of my room, I knew it did and I knew everyone else saw it. It effected who I was. I remember praying saying, "Please Lord, just clear my face up. Make me beautiful." And I would become angry sometimes thinking about it: "He won't answer my prayers so He really must not want me to be pretty." But that was the lesson I needed to learn. I was perfect in His sight and didn't need a clear face to be beautiful. It only took me 8 years to learn it ;) Thank you Lord for showing me my own beauty in who You are.

blessings

Blessings: Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

I've been meditating on this song lately and boy has it convicted me. Here's a few things I walked away with, and hopefully you can too...

1. He loves us so much that He won't give us anything short of what we need
2. How many times do I doubt His unfailing love? How many times do I doubt His forgiveness? How many times do I forget His goodness?  How could I? We have His word at easy access and FULL of promises.
3. He longs that we have faith to believe :)
4. I can look back in life and think of SO many blessings. And to be honest, MOST of them have come with "raindrops," tears, and sleepless nights.

With all of these valuable lessons, I see so much room for improvement. But one step at a time. I realize I can't tackle it all at once.

So today, I pray "Gracious God, I'm willing. I'm willing to suffer. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'm willing to be ridiculed. I'm willing to be caught in the storm. Whatever it takes to glorify you Lord. Bring on the sleepless nights, bring on the tears, bring on the trials of life. Whatever it takes to draw me nearer."

don't forget him...

Well I don't think this is going to be a long post, but just thought I'd share a little about what's going on in Brandi's life. I don't have to work until 12pm tomorrow, so I'm a rebel and staying up past 11pm! It's a weird concept these days... staying up past 11 and all. ;)

Anyways, I just finished midterms so I'm "halfway" done with the quarter (yay! :)) and can I just say "I love it!" My major is great. So since I love what I'm studying, I'm actually doing well. I haven't received anything lower than an A so far, and I'm wondering where Brandi went...? This is very unlike me. I always worked hard in school but still made it by as a B/C student. Also, today I found out I'll be graduating Spring of 2012. Which is a little over a year!!! Wow-zer! :) So all I have to say is praise God :) Everything seems to be working out perfectly... His will, not mine! 

I've been struggling with the whole "my life is COMPLETELY up in the air" thing recently and today God reassured me. He put a date in my head. He gave me a goal. He knows my little organized-obsessed brain needs that every once in awhile ;) So that's honestly a weight off my shoulders.

Real quick I wanted to share what I've been learning in the book of Hosea recently. Holy cow... can I just say it's GOOD stuff. I encourage everyone to read ch.2 (GO! Right now! It's short ;)) and picture yourself as the wife and God as the husband. Can I just say I love Him more just from reading this chapter?

• We are the adulterous one, unfaithful, a disgrace, filthy etc. 
• He watches us walk away and search for other things. But we don't find them. So what do we do? Run back to Him. But do we see His loving hand taking us back? No way! We don't even acknowledge that it was His doing. 
• The Lord declares, "It was me she forgot" (vs13). Are you turning your back on Him and forgetting all the many many blessings He's bestowed on you? Don't forget Him. Don't forget the good.
• When we forget Him (because sadly we do...), what does He do? He leads us to a quiet place and speaks tenderly to our heart. He tells us of His love. He takes us back with open arms. He promises us safety. He will then say, "You are my people."

I just can't get over this visual. 

Do you realize our God is the God who goes to the whore house to buy us back? I think that in itself says it all. THAT is a God of love. Love that only I can pray to learn.

17: time in between

Time in Between
by: Francesca Battestelli

You were there when your Father said
Let there be light
You obeyed when He whispered
Son, You have to leave tonight
To spend nine months in a mothers womb
Three days in a borrowed tomb

(Chorus One)
But it’s the time in between
That brings me to my knees
Knowing you came for me
And all that I can't be
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank You for the time in between

Don't take much for this crazy world
To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul
Says You’re holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again

(Chorus Two)
But it’s the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song’s incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between

So many ways
Your love has saved the day
And I'm grateful for them all

(Chorus 3)
But it’s the time in between
The middle of two thieves
That says everything
It’s the reason I believe
I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank you for the time in between
Oh Lord, I thank you for the time in between 

17: winter snow

So it's been a little while... but I heard this song tonight and HAD to share it :) It reminds me that God can meet us where we are, no matter where that might be. He can speak to us through creation (Psalm 19), like the winter snow! We have a remarkable God, don't we? Enjoy! (and hopefully I'll remember to blog tomorrow ;))

16: in Your arms

In Your Arms

by: Meredith Andrews

15: C.S. Lewis Song

How come I've never heard this song before? I love Brooke Fraser! Very powerful.

C.S. Lewis Song

by: Brooke Fraser

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

[CHORUS:]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming 

14: I refuse!

I Refuse

by: Josh Wilson

I don't want to live like I don't care. I don't want to say another empty prayer. I REFUSE to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God's called me to do myself. I choose to refuse. Amazing song! Make this your life's mission. Start caring and stop sitting around.

13: i'm restless

Great song! :)

12: Happy Valentine's Day!

Ok I thought this song was perfect for Valentine's Day! :) I've been reading all of these girls status' and I'm sorry to say... they're lame!!! You gals don't need someone special to make your day complete. The only thing that will ever complete you is your Heavenly Father. The One that knows you best. He sends you flowers every spring. He loves you more than words can express. He sent His own innocent Son to die for you. I think that says it all. 


But just remember HIS precious and everlasting love today. Don't remember all the ooey-gooey, roses, chocolates, and muahs. That's not doing anything but hurting you and your Creator.


So read these lyrics... Ask yourself, "Do I think about my Savior all the time? Can I say I love Him more than words can describe? Is He my 'first love'?" I don't think I can. My mind tends to wander. I wish I could say He's always on my mind. I'm determined to fall deeper in love with the One who already loves me with an everlasting love.

Hold Me
by: Jamie Grace 
(new artist; founded by Toby Mac)

I've had a long day I just wanna relax
Don't have time for my friends, no time to chit-chat
Problems at my job, wonderin' what to do
I know I should be working but I'm thinking of You and
Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down
That's when Your smile comes around


Oo, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
I love the way you hold me, in Your arms I'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
I love You more than the words in my brain can express
I can't imagine even loving You less
Lord, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa
Oh whoa, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa


Well Ya, took my day and You flipped it around
Calmed the title wave and put my feet on the ground
Forever in my heart, always on my mind
It's crazy how I think about You all of the time
And just when I think I'm bout to figure You out
You make me wanna sing and shout


Oo, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
I love the way You hold me, in Your arms i'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
I love You more than the words in my brain can express
I can't imagine even loving You less
Lord, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa
Oh whoa, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa


I'm so grateful and thankful for all You've done
Wish I could tell You in a short story or poem
But, all I have is my voice and this guitar
And You have my heart


Oo, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
Oh, I love the way You hold me, in Your arms i'll always be
You take each and everyday...
Oo, I love the way You hold me, by my side You'll always be
You make each and everyday, oh so special
Oh, I love the way You hold me, in Your arms I'll always be
You take each and everyday, make it special in some way
I love You more than the words in my brain can express
I can't imagine even loving You less
Lord, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa
Oh whoa, I love the way You hold me
Whoa whoa
Oh, I love

11: little is much

I had never heard this song (or band) until today. I really really like them.

Little is Much

by: Downhere

What is the measure of a life well lived
If all I can offer seems too small to give
This is a song for the weaker, the poorer
And so-called failures

Little is much when God's in it
And no one can fathom the plans He holds
Little is much when God's in it
He changes the world with the seeds we sow
Little is much, little is much

Who feels tired and under-qualified
Who feels deserted, and hung out to dry
This is a song for the broken, the beat-up
And so-called losers

Consider a Kingdom in the smallest seed
Consider that giants fall to stones and slings
Consider a child in a manger
Consider the story isn't over
What can be done with what you still have

I think we've all felt like a complete failure at one time or another... realizing were never going to meet God's standard of perfection. Never good enough. Never going to achieve something as big as that other guy did. But is that right type of attitude we should have? No way josé! We're limiting God. No one knows what He has in store, but that "little thing" we do or act upon, He could turn into something great!

I want to be the type of person that's FULL of humility, perseverance, and random acts of kindness... knowing that all I have to worry about is pleasing my Heavenly Father. Because He could take those little things and change the world :) So no more feeling like a loser. Consider His Kingdom. Consider your own daily life. Consider the limitations you set on the Creator of the universe.

10: over now

Over Now (click <-- to listen)
by: Needtobreathe

Lift your eyes girl,
I know you're broken,
Left from the same war,
That you never knew.
Your way is just to fall just like before you.
But the way isn't to long,
You're almost there.
There's a feeling that you won't make.

All you have in store.
This time is just a season,
You deserve much more.

Lift up your head,
Look out the window,
‘Cause it's almost over now,
Take back the time that your fear has stolen.
‘Cause it's almost over now.

Don't let it get you caught in that tunnel,
The end is always a few steps away,
There's a feeling of resistance,
You can't seem to fight.
This time is just a season,
You can make it right.

Your eyes are open,
Your heart clean,
But you're lookin',
To be free.

Lift up your head,
Look out the window,
‘Cause it's almost over now,
Take back the time that your fear has stolen.
‘Cause it's almost over now.

9: maybe

8: fame

Fame

by: Rush of Fools

I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead
I have failed at everything
I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King

I couldn't be any less worthy  

To spend one day much less forever with You

[Chorus 1:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame

I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face
But I've seen Your Spirit move
And Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room

I'm merely a product of mercy
The target and victim of Your perfect love

[Chorus 2:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, spreading like a flame

Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name
You can't be contained and I'll never be the same

7: trust in the simple truth

I'm learning what it means to truly TRUST the Lord and this song was a good reminder to me today :)

You 
By: Britt Nicole
I've been looking for love in another's eyes
Searching for water, but I come up dry
Thought that I could find
Happiness in the world's applause
Peace of mind in a worthy cause
Take me back, take me back
Go to trust in the simple truth
Got to trust all I really need is
[CHORUS]
You
I'm coming back to
You
The only thing I know worth living for
Will You take this heart and make it more like
You
I give it back to You
It's obvious no one could love me more
I'm Yours
I'm coming back, yeah
I'm coming, coming back

To joy that speaks to my deepest need
To arms never far out of reach
Yeah, how Your love it
Calls to me when I lose my way
Holds me close when I feel afraid
Take me back, take me back
Got to trust that I'm safe and sound
Got to trust that it all comes down to

[CHORUS]

So no more getting caught in the middle
No more waiting for what is unsure
Back to Your love so true and so simple
Don't understate it or complicate it
It's so simple, yeah, it's so simple

It's You
I'm coming back to
You
The only thing I know worth living for
Will You take this heart and make it more like
You
I give it back to You
It's obvious no one could love me more
I'm Yours
I'm coming, coming back
You
I'm coming back to
You
The only thing I know worth living for
Will You take this heart and make it more like
You
I give it back to You
It's obvious no one could love me more
I'm Yours
I'm coming, coming back

You, coming back to You, You coming back
You, coming back to You, You coming back
You, coming back to You, You coming back
You, coming back to You, You coming back

I'm Yours, I'm Yours, yeah, yeah
I'm Yours, I'm Yours, yeah, yeah

6: grace

Grace is my favorite word. My favorite name. My favorite song. I love that it has so many meanings. I love that it fits into so many areas of my life.

From 3 years old, when I first started Ice Skating, I remember having to be graceful on my feet. I remember when I was 8 and memorizing the verse, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and not of yourselves, but the gift of God." It was then I accepted Jesus into my heart :) At 14, I fell in love with Addison Road and their song, "Grace." It's been probably my top-5 favorite since. When I was 16, I knew that I wanted to name my first daughter Grace. At 18, I got hooked on Todd Agnew and his song, "Grace like Rain." Shortly after, I visited my first tatoo parlor ;) and walked out with a design of my own on my foot (one of the pictures at the top of my blog). I wanted something to remind me of God's precious gift of grace everyday for the rest of my life.


Grace by Addison Road:

The small town I grew up in doesn't look the same,
Things are always changing in this ever-changing world
Some things for the better,
Some things it's hard to say
But when I look into this mirror,
I think of all it's brought me to this day
Sometimes it's hard to bear
I know this life is leading me somewhere

Grace... will get me there
Grace... will keep me there
The only thing that has me standing here is grace


The house I was raised in still looks the same
The room I used to dream in would someday change the world
Some things I've done better
Some things it's hard to say
When I look in this ol' mirror remember all my yesterdays
When I say my prayers,
All of my some days will lead me to somewhere


I can't find this song on youtube... I just have it in my iTunes library. I posted it on my Facebook, so check there. Maybe it'll work? But anyways, the lyrics are great and it lets you in on a little piece of my life.

5: closer

So I didn't realize I was starting this the week of exams. There was just no time to post... or breath for that matter.

This is a great song. Inspired by my lovely friend Hailey Stambach. :)

4: The Stand

THE STAND/by: Hillsong United 

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

So over the past couple of days I've been missing Cedarville like crazy. I mainly miss my friends... but chapel everyday, the environment, and the independence of it, I seem to miss too. I'm due for a visit :) Anyways, I love this song. We used to sing it in chapel all the time and it always pulled at my heart. I need to be reminded to offer my heart completely to Him and worship Him as the Creator he is!

at 20 years of age...

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though 

(Chorus) 

This is kind of the story of my life right now. Sometimes I worry about what could come next, but He's already won that battle. He has great plans for me! :) What a comfort it is to know that even though I have a few rips in my jeans and dents in my fender, he accepts me and tells me I've got all He seeks.

day 2: For the Glory of Your Name

For the Glory of Your Name by: Michelle Tumes

We've sang this song numerous times in choir, but today it hit me differently. The lyrics are awesome! I'm not going to lie... I think our church choir sings it better, but the lyrics are what count.

"My whole intent of being here is to make God smile!" :) Let us do everything for the glory of His name!

30 day song challenge... day #1

I love music. Plain and simple. I play the radio/Pandora rather well! ;) So for the next 30 days I'm going to try my best to post a song that I heard throughout the day. Some days I'll have a chance to say a word or two about the song, and some days it'll just be a song I enjoyed and want to share with you all.

Today, as I was reading 1 Peter (my all-time favorite book of the Bible), I was reminded of WHY we should rejoice and WHY we suffer.

⁴to^(K) an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and^(L) unfading,^(M) kept in heaven for you, ⁵who by God’s power are being guarded^(N) through faith for a salvation^(O) ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷so that^(Q) the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes^(R) though it is tested by^(S) fire—may be found to result in^(T) praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:4-7)

By His grace, we have an inheritance that can't perish. Eternal life with Him awaits. It simply can't get better than that! :) We should have an inexpressible joy(v.8) and rejoice always(1 Thess 5:16).

He tests the genuineness of our faith. Are we for real? Do we truly trust in His promises? And how we react to/deal with these trials and sufferings, should bring Him praise and glory. Because He deserves that much!

So the song for today is... "God in Me" by Daniel Doss Band. (Click "God in Me" to hear it!) I had never heard this song before, but it's rich. I encourage you to listen to it. The music makes the lyrics more profound I think. Good stuff.

It’s not the melody that brings me to you
It’s not even the words that burn in my heart
It’s not the wonderful sounds that cause me to sing
It is knowing you and what you’ve done in me 

You are the song of my life

You are the dance in my feet

You are the voice of my heart

You are God in me

You are the bread of my life

You are the life giving drink

You are the everything

You are God in me

Yeah

So I will sing my life a song to remain

And whatever I do it’s all for your fame

Because it’s your beautiful self that causes me to sing

About knowing you and what you do in me

You are the song of my life

You are the dance in my feet

You are the voice of my heart

You are God in me

You are the bread of my life

You are the life giving drink

You are the everything

You are God in me

Yeah me in you

And you in me

I will never stop knowing the joy that you bring

And me in you

And you in me

I will never stop tasting, tasting your goodness

Oh your goodness

Oh You are the song of my life

You are the dance in my feet

You are the voice of my heart

You are God in me

Oh You are the bread of my life

You are the life giving drink yeah

You are the everything

You are God in me

Yeah Yeah Yeah

hello 2011!

As I sit here and reflect, I feel so blessed. 2010 was great. I can see how my faith grew and strengthened throughout this past year and it's amazing! I was in His will the whole time :) My resolution every year is to fall deeper in love with my Savior and at any cost. Because His ways are perfect! I can honestly say that my resolution came true. I experienced things that I didn't think I could handle, but He knew all along that I was strong enough and He'd be there to walk me through each step. And I love Him for that.

• 2010 started with going back to Cedarville Univ. after a long/great Christmas break at home with my family. I remember that being a sweet time, especially with my mom healing and our lives changing.
• Then, in February I left the United States for the very first time. I went to Knockpatrick, Jamaica to serve at a Deaf school with a group from CU for a week. Usually when you hear from people who have gone on an overseas mission trip, their lives were "changed forever." I remember being there and not feeling that way at all. I knew I was soaking it all in and loving every minute of it, but I knew, realistically, I couldn't just leave everything I was doing and serve in Jamaica. I felt like it wasn't changing who I was. So the question to myself was, "How is this going to affect ME when I go back? Does God have something bigger for me at home?" I remember praying on the plane ride back and thinking, "God, I love the Deaf culture and language, but I'm a Middle Childhood Edu major at Cedarville. The two don't match. But Lord, I'm willing to be anywhere you want me to be and do anything you want me to do." (Oh, and don't forget, I was the girl who thought kids were dumb for changing their major or being undecided. Go figure, God would take the reigns and "show me who's boss!" ha!)
• Sure enough, God didn't have to change who I was. He just helped me dig deep and find it. He gave peace to my heart to leave Cedarville, which btw I thought I would NEVER do, and He encouraged me to pursue my love for Sign Language and the Deaf culture. From March to May, it was rough. The days were up and down. I didn't WANT to leave Cedarville, but I knew He was tugging at my heart and wanting me to pursue other things at home. So I obeyed Him and did just that. I didn't say it was easy, but He gave me enough peace to push through. 
• So I finished out the semester, said goodbye to my friends and the college I always dreamed of going to. While packing up the car, I remember thinking "This is a joyous day and there's no such thing as goodbyes with Christian brothers and sisters." That was all God... I had peace. He gave me the opportunity to attend my childhood-dream-school for a year. I had to look at it like He wasn't taking that away, but giving me new opportunities to serve Him :)
• I had an amazing longgg summer (June to October) and got to experience so much. I interned at our amazing church, served as a camp counselor for 6th grade girls, rejoined the choir, bought a car, and started babysitting full-time. He orchestrated every bit of it. Right down to THE DAY!
• I started school at Cincinnati State in mid-November studying Sign Language Interpreting, and I absolutely love it. Even how my schedule and classes worked out were by His hand.

My verse for 2010: 1 Thess 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for THIS is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
If you're the type that's searching for His will, but you think God isn't revealing it to you, read this verse again. Those 3 things are what He wants from you. Be joyful, pray, and give thanks ALWAYS and He'll lead you through the way :)

Looking back I can't believe how rewarding it's been to obey the Lord. I would say being in His will is the best feeling in life. He's taught me the meaning of contentment, forgiveness, patience, commitment, faithfulness, obedience, and trust. I'm not saying I've mastered these; I know I never will, but He has let me become more familiar with them and I pray I continue to learn them more intimately.

The lyrics that come to mind are from Jeremy Camp's song, Walk by Faith:

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

[chorus]
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

So bring it on, 2011! :) I can't wait to learn and experience new things, and fall deeper in love with my Savior ...at any cost!